SUMMARY- Before I first came to Berkeley Dental Clinic, a visit to the dentist had become distressing to the point where the course of treatment could not continue. I was experiencing symptoms which I did not understand and could not control and this was interfering with the treatment. I had never encountered this kind of reaction to anything before. During each dental visit these symptoms became progressively worse and I felt increasing dismay at being unable to control them and at the interruption to normal procedure which was very embarrassing. This was alarming as dental treatment had been OK up until this point in time, with the exception of treatment when I was younger. My dentist who is, and has been extremely professional, caring and patient, advised that I might consider seeking assistance and recommended Dr Mike Gow. Although I was sceptical about the concept at first, I have no doubt that without Dr Gow’s help, completing future dental treatment would have become more and more difficult. I had tried so hard to control the symptoms but as each attempt failed this seemed to compound the problem resulting in an escalation in the level of anxiety before and between each dental appointment. Thankfully, under Dr Gow's guidance and expertise, the problem has been reduced to a point now where dental treatment has been completed successfully without recurrence of the symptoms.

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Like lots of other people, life is very busy and I find it both exhilarating and fulfilling. Managing time with family and career is challenging and so planning is essential. I love my family, my husband is very supportive and we are all fortunate enough to be healthy and happy. However, last year, I experienced an early miscarriage. The situation was entirely unexpected as the risk of pregnancy should have been low. It was not at all in our plan for very obvious reasons (my age (46), job, time and practical circumstances).and so when last February there was an interruption from the usual predictable natural cycle, I thought that this would simply be the start of age related changes and so carried on as normal - at first completely discounting the possibility and later beginning to wonder but not believing it could be.

I was shocked when this happened and suddenly felt an enormous sense of guilt. There was an obvious contrast between this and the circumstances of my previous pregnancies and I felt so ashamed to have paid such little attention and care - it was so undignified. After this happened I tried to separate it in my mind – I suppose I tried to hide it. Maybe it is harder to recognise or accept the point at which you are not coping with something when it is unusual. As a lot can happen in 8 weeks, I can now see I did not deal wisely with this whole episode. I didn’t cope well with the physical and emotional loss and unfortunately this experience coincided with a visit to the dentist. Physical symptoms resulted in fainting during dental treatment and I felt extremely embarrassed about this. Although my dentist was very reassuring, subsequent appointments seem to have been affected due to a strong sense of anxiety and anticipation. I didn’t understand this at the time. Fortunately, my dentist recognised that professional assistance could help which resulted in coming to see Dr Gow - this has been invaluable. Trust has played an essential role in this as I had not been able to talk about what had happened last year before his help, and at first I found it difficult. It takes a big leap to trust someone with your personal thoughts, memories and emotions, especially if you have locked them away. Looking back I see my communication of what had happened was almost non existent - even to the closest person to me. I cannot explain why but can only say that I felt a devastating sense of failure and as nothing could be done about it, I tried to work through it alone. I could shut it out when occupied with family and work, but it was difficult when I was on my own and each month I have been reminded of my lack of judgement. I felt the need to cry but couldn’t. It may be that my mind was constantly recycling what happened, the related symptoms experienced at the dentist and the repeated failures to overcome anxiety at subsequent dental visits - and so it went on. It’s important to realise that when a problem starts to affect those around you, and you are not coping with it, it is time to ask for help. Being such a personal and private matter, I was so reluctant to do this. I tried to get a sense of perspective in relation to the problems other people have. I didn’t manage to have a clear conversation or convey my feelings to the very closest person and so denied him the opportunity to share it and to help. I hadn’t communicated all the relevant information to the dentist or to the doctor either.

So, when I came to Berkeley clinic, all these aspects seemed to have intertwined to the extent where a dental visit had become completely stressful and I didn’t understand and couldn’t control what was happening. There was a huge sense of anticipation but I found Dr Gow to be so professional, caring and so very careful that this decreased with each visit. Since our first meeting, a kind of unravelling of time and events, which were locked away, seems to have taken place. This process has not been rushed but gentle, but the memories recalled vivid and include an unpleasant experience associated with dental treatment from childhood. I am not conscious of this particular memory during dental treatment, but I can quickly recall it and have always been slightly apprehensive of dentistry due to this. Over the course of visits, Dr Gow’s patience, understanding and expertise has provided me with the confidence to move on and to have dental treatment without a problem. I really thank him for this and hope this can be of some encouragement to anyone who may be experiencing anxiety associated with dental treatment and may be wondering what to do.